My brother-in-law sent me a link to an auction house that specializes in Baseball memorabilia.  Yawn, thought I.

Then I read the item description: Published in 1898 in Baltimore, this document, titled “Special Instructions To Players,” addresses the use of obscene language by players at the ballpark.  Evidently today's dream field bad boys didn't invent the insults and epithets they hurl to intimidate umpires and opposing players, and to verbally battle with unfriendly fans.  No, there's a long and illustrious history of emasculating taunts, assaults on the reputations opponents' mothers, and prurient invitations (including, hilariously, a demand to "suck my ass").  

By then the plot bunnies were dusting off their cleats and squinting at the backfield fence.  There is no way I will ever have the time or passion to write a story of homosexual hijinks set in the yesteryear of America's game.  But someone should!!

So, step up to the plate, baseball fans.  Adopt this poor, forlorn plot bunny.  It's starting to spit tobacco juice in my imagination.  And I just redid the floors!

Batter up,
Lee

P.S.  My favorite part of the document is the little message at the end that reads, "Unmailable.  Must be forwarded by express."  Consider it done!